At big family functions where schedules are not consistent, it seems like my kids are never really themselves. It makes me sad. I want everyone, but especially my extended family, to see them how I see them. Not just tired, sad, whining little boys, but also amazingly funny, happy, loving little boys.
On Thursday night I asked Ean what made him happy during the day. He thought a second and said, "Mama make me happy. Tickles make me happy." I feel lucky that I get to have these special moments, but sometimes I fear that other people are going to label my children without knowing all of these intricate details. Do I just accept this? Am I being too sensitive? Has anyone else felt like this?
9 comments:
Nope!--not the only one thinking/feeling this way!...I thought I was the only one! I feel overwhelmed by these feelings not only with family but at school--especially right now when we're having a hard time getting adjusted. I wish that everyone could see the hilarious, daring, sweet, playful girl that I know Madelyn is, rather than an overly sensitive, insecurely-attached baby that I feel everyone perceives. SO hard! Like I've said to you so many times recently, Motherhood is not for wimps! How wonderful, though, that despite it all, MOM is the one who made him happy--that makes you feel okay at the end of the day, I hope! Thanks for sharing Ezra and Ean with me--I'm grateful for the chance I have to know/see more than just their tired, off-schedule moments...I sure love them! And I love you!
~mary
I think everyone feels this way I know I sure do (every sunday), it stinks and then I remind myself that I may not be seeing other kids the same way their parents do and then it doesn't bother me so much. You are a great mom and your kids love you and that is really all that matters, who cares about anyone else anyway.
I wish everyone could see kids in their own environment. They are their most true selves then. However, I might get crazy if all their interactions with life happened at my house!
I totally feel this way! That's what blogs are for - haha! I might look like a scary stranger to your boys, especially Christmas morning with 1000 people at Grandma & Grandpa's...or at least it seems (and feels - hot! - that way!) but I can see that they are great boys, happy & full of life & energy (in a good way). Plus, with parents like you & Jon, it's a guarantee that they are absolutely lovable!
Preston is the sweetest little boy, well behaved, and always has good manners. But it seems that EVERY time we are out in public, at a play date, or anywhere else with a group of people, he almost always acts out. He is always grumpy and becomes upset when he catches adults looking at him. I don't get it?! I have thought to myself (more than once) that people are probably labeling him and ME as a parent. So, yes, I also feel this way! ALOT! I have learned to not react to his behavior. I will just completely ignore it and he usually stops. Even when I am doing that though, I feel as though people are still labeling me. Its so hard being a parent, and I have also learned to not sit and stare at other parents and children who are having a hard time. Because I know how it makes someone feel!
I think this is a common feeling to have especially with young kids. I like what was written before...at the end of the day mom is there to show love and really understand. I hope no matter what my kids always feel this comfort.
As for your boys, they are so much fun even when they are off schedule. I know it doesn't always feel like it but they are hillarious, entertaining, and loveable to those around them even if they are in a bad mood. If there are people who have negative feelings towards them then you easily know who truly loves them. Hang in there, you may feel like people are watching and labeling but you might be surprised at how many people are watching and admiring you patience and parental skills. You have Mad Skills!
Don't stress the small stuff! Anyone else who has ever had children has thought the same thing. So there should be an understanding that comes naturally when they are around other peoples children. If they don't? Oh well it is their loss that they aren't willing to look beyond the change of schedule behavior and see what each little personality truly is. Kids will be kids and anyone that has kids in their life is lucky to see each child in all their different moments!
colorI so agree with all the above statements.
So many times I felt judged as a parent and that my children were being judged. Who were these people to place such judgements, they don't really know my children like I do, they don't know the day to day things that I see...then I had to take a step back and let the "Mama Bear" in me cool down and ask myself "Do I make judgements?"
I am so greatful that as a Mother I have been able to have a glimpse of how Heavenly Father sees my children and I hope that I give all his children that same chance.
And there is nothing more rewarding than knowing you have made your children feel "happy".
I do not yet have the privilege and challenges of being a parent, but I hope you are not truly feeling that your chilli's are the only ones who have "off schedule" moments.
I love your little twinners. I am really happy that I have some great memories of them (since I don't live close) when they were having a kick tackling me.
It also makes me feel truly happy that they know who I am and can recognize me in a picture and like to say my name. They really are God's greatest.
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