#38

I had never read this book even though I had a vague idea of the storyline.  It was almost better listening to it as an audio book so I could get all the accents :)

There is a reason it is a classic tale.  I loved it.

#37

My mom bought this book (and cassette tape series) after I left the house, so only my younger siblings benefited from things like "token economy," "trust bank" and the like.  My oldest sister listened to the tapes and recommended it to me.  While much of the discussion is based on principles to use with tweens and teens, it really has been helpful for young kids too.  Here are the two things that we are implementing:

1.  Token Economy is a fancy way of saying you help your children earn the things they have.  Instead of giving them an "allowance" they earn what have.  I have had mixed feelings about using external motivations in the past, but I have learned that intrinsic motivation does not occur naturally in either one of my boys.  I have to teach them that it feels good to do good things.  So we have set up a spreadsheet (thanks for the template Charie!) which lists the things the boys should do for the day.  They include things like "make bed," "unload silverware," "use words, no whining."  When they do them, they earn beans which we then put in a jar.  At the end of the week they trade the beans in for money.  If they get all their points in a week, they earn a little over $5 each.  They also earn rewards they have chosen for getting a certain number of beans, like using a pen (50 beans) or a toy from the toy bag (100 beans).

You might be thinking, "Really?  For three year olds?"  but I'm telling you, it's been really good for them.  They know that when they wake up they have certain things they need to get done before they play.  And they ASK for jobs to do.  I can see their confidence growing as they do things for themselves.  They used to whine and cry that they couldn't make their beds, but now they do it and run to show me.  

For the behavioral issues like "getting along" and "being polite" it is a good reminder for them to think of what they are doing throughout the day.  And I don't have to nag.  I just say, "Do you want your beans?"  They don't really understand the concept of money yet, but it will be nice when they need new socks or something to see that they can buy their own.  And it's not costing me any $ because I'd have to buy those things anyway.  The thing they are most excited about right now is buying each other Christmas presents with their own money.

2.  I learned that I have been reinforcing whining in our home.  I would respond to it in my "nice mom" or my "mean mom" but either way, I have been teaching my boys that by whining they can get a response from me.  I decided to test run the "ignore" punishment described in this book.  At first I thought I would go crazy.  I heard so much whining in the first few days, that I dreamed about whining.  But now, the boys know that they are not going to get a response from me if they whine.  It's hard, even still, but it IS getting better.  And when I can't handle it, I take them to their room and tell them they can come out when they are done whining.

Okay, so I could write so much more, but that is a general summary.  Email me if you want more...ha ha.  It does take some effort on your part (recording and checking in) but it's worth it.  It has made a much more loving environment.